It’s been said, “The ones that you love the most are usually
the ones that hurt you the most.” and “The people who really care won’t hurt
you.” Which one is true? Which one is false? Which one makes so much sense that we
questioned whether those people loved us at all?
We've all been hurt time and time again by people we love,
admire, and respect. That type of hurt
stings worse than the first time you learned not to eat ketchup on your food
after peeling that dry sliver of skin on your lips. Despite getting over it, that’s the type of hurt
that we never get forget. Our opinions
for those who we love, admire, and respect are directly tied to our emotions,
which in turn dictate our present and sometimes future actions.
Who’s at fault for us getting hurt? Is it the person who instinctively did only
what they knew? Is it the person who
held the other person on such a high pedestal that they could not do wrong
until they did wrong?
Neither. It’s just
the way of life. Sometimes people will
hurt people. As long as it’s not deliberate
and intentional, chalk it up as a flaw of human nature. We can’t always control our feelings, but we
can control who we put on a pedestal and how high up that pedestal goes. Seeing the good qualities in a person is as
natural as breathing. What is not
natural is being jaded to the fact that we all are imperfectly flawed.
One of my flaws is the fact that I like to be liked. I’m not the bend over backwards type to make
you like me. If you don’t like me for
who I am, I could care less. However, I thoroughly
enjoy being liked. Who doesn't? The problem comes when my perfectionist
character flaw intertwines with a childhood emotional flaw. As I strive to be perfect, I unfairly place a
subconscious belief that everyone else strives to be perfect, thoughtful, and as
considerate as I believe myself to be.
Needless to say, I've struggled with showing the real me in the midst of
who I strive to be.
Instead of being in our feelings because of an end result
different than how our mind played out the scenario, we need to lower the
pedestals we've setup, or completely remove them from underneath people and
realize we all are perfectly made with our imperfect flaws.
I truly believe that the one you love the most is the one that can hurt you the most. You have let this person inside, you have lowered your defenses for this person. You have placed your trust in this person. So yes when that hurt comes whether it is with intent or not that hurt will be severe. We can't say the people who really care wont hurt you, because again it may not be intentional. They may not even know they have slighted you. It's not a situation were you have placed them on pedestal, you merely let them into your world. A place where not many people get to go. We were not placed here to be alone. We cannot just close off the world, that isn't living. At some point we must let someone in, and that may come with being severely hurt whether it is intentional or not.
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